How-To: Date in the Apocalypse
by apenny12
Summary: Life is hard. The apocalypse made life harder. Dating is hard. The apocalypse made dating practically impossible. These are the tales of a pizza delivery boy and a crossbow-wielding redneck surviving the apocalypse and becoming confidants while dating the Greene sisters. **A series of drabbles and one-shots. Post-apocalypse with no definitive timeline.**
1. When She's Mad

**Disclaimer:** A nod to the genius Robert Kirkman for creating this wonderfully dark, post-apocalyptic world. I do not own or have rights to any of the characters/plot of this series. I'm simply a fan indulging in my post-apocalyptic fantasies.

**A/N:** So this little series is inspired by **the queen conquers (dastardlydame)** story _Secrets (Give You Indigestion)_. I listed my story suggestions from her at the bottom of_ For the Ones You Change_ chapter 20. She had an adorable snippet between Daryl and Glenn and it got me to thinking…those two would have a lot more to do with each other dating Beth and Maggie. So…these fun little diddies will be posted sporadically. If you have a scenario you'd like to suggest, just pm me or leave it in the review! There's no definitive timeline (as stated in the synopsis) so I'm not constrained to keeping anything canon-wise. Just post-apocalyptic scenarios! Beth and Maggie will be featured in the chapters as well, but it's mainly going to focus on secret rendezvous between the guys about the girls they're with and helping each other survive dating in the apocalypse! These are just for fun so I hope you enjoy!

...

When She's Mad

"So how mad are we talking? Like buy her flowers mad? Or take her out on an expensive date and name a star after her?" Glenn asked from where they sat in the guard tower.

"She ain't talked to me in two fuckin' days," Daryl grumbled; unfazed by Glenn's impossible scenarios considering the world as it was.

"Man…that blows," Glenn let out a long sigh, "What'd you do?"

"Hell if I know," Daryl's eyes cut from Glenn back to the woods in front of them.

"Want me to see if Maggie knows?" Glenn inquired quietly.

"Beth'll be pissed if she finds out you're meddlin'," Daryl huffed.

"No way! She won't even find out. I'll be real cool about it. Just casually bring up something about noticing the tension between you two," Glenn waved him off.

Daryl eyed him warily, "Do whatcha' want."

It was the closest he would get to Daryl asking for help, but Glenn would take it nonetheless. They were in this together now, him and Daryl, as they shared a common life-choice; being involved with Maggie and Beth.

…

"Hey," Glenn said as he entered the cell they shared.

"Hi," Maggie replied as she greeted him with a kiss.

"How was your day?" Glenn asked after parting lips.

"It was alright. Beth was in a really bad mood, but other than that, things were fine," Maggie answered him while shrugging out of her dirty clothes.

Glenn smiled inwardly, realizing she had given him the perfect opportunity to jump into subtly prying the necessary information for Daryl.

"Oh yeah? Somethin' happen with Daryl? Those two have been kinda' tense the past day or so," he questioned casually while sitting on the bed and removing his shoes.

"Yeah. I managed t'get her t'tell me a little bit. Somethin' about what he did," Maggie replied vaguely.

He knew he couldn't ask without seeming overly interested, but she hadn't given him enough material to work with.

"Daryl can be a jerk, but I thought Beth would be used to that by now. What'd he do to make her so mad?" He prayed he sounded nonchalant.

"I think it was more 'ah what he _didn't say_ that has her upset. She wasn't in tha' mood to give me details. I think it happened in front of Sasha though," Maggie shrugged her bare shoulders, "Enough about them. We haven't had time t'ourselves in a while. Why don't you and I spend it gettin'…reacquainted?"

From her coy expression, to the sultry tone, and her overall lack of attire, Glenn couldn't find any reason in the world to say no. He made a mental note to catch up with Sasha tomorrow before seeking out Daryl. Then his mind was filled with soft skin, tender kisses, and the sound of Maggie's laugh when his fingers brushed across her bare skin.

…

"You got a minute?" Glenn asked; jogging up to Sasha as she speared the walkers along the fence.

"If you grab that tire iron and help out, I do," Sasha raised an eyebrow as she stabbed another walker.

"It's a…uh, nice day huh?" Glenn smiled nervously when Sasha continued to stare at him.

He had intended to play it smooth. Ask her about her post-apocalyptic life, how things were going with Bob, the usual small talk that one uses before broaching the important issue. Sasha, however, had never been one for small talk.

"What d'you want Glenn?" Thrusting the fireplace poker through the fence with extra emphasis as she stated her question.

"Well…you see," Glenn shoved the tire iron through the eye socket of a walker whose decomposition made gender identification impossible, "I've noticed some tension between Beth and Daryl. Maggie said you were there when whatever it was that happened…happened."

"Uh huh," she took a step away from the fence and placed her free hand on her hip, "They know you're meddlin'?"

"Me? Meddling? Never," Glenn scoffed with a smile. After a few moments of Sasha's intense stare, he faltered, "Okay so Daryl told me to do whatever, but Beth has no idea. I'm just tryin' to help."

Sasha's lips puckered as she mulled over Glenn's declaration, "I'm only lettin' you know because I feel sorry for his dumbass. I don't even think he realizes how bad he messed up."

"He has no idea," Glenn confirmed.

Sasha shook her head, looking toward the ground, as a soft laugh escaped her lips, "Dummy made the mistake of hesitating."

Glenn furrowed his brows, not quite clear what Sasha meant.

She sighed, "She looked like she took some effort in her appearance, all things considered, and she asked him what he thought. He jus' stared at her. Next thing I know, Beth is stomping past me mumbling something about Daryl being an 'insufferable man.'"

Glenn face palmed.

It was natural for someone to take a lack of response as the person had nothing nice to say. They had all long since given up on worrying about their looks, but that didn't mean a girl still wasn't a girl at heart. If Beth had tried to look nice for Daryl and Daryl failed to make an appropriate response…scratch that…make _any_ sort of response, Glenn could understand why her feelings might be a little hurt.

"Thanks Sasha," Glenn groaned.

They continued clearing the fence in comfortable silence. He would find Daryl when it was his shift at the guard tower so they could discuss their issue in relative privacy. Daryl definitely still had a thing or two to learn about dating, in general, much less a Greene.

…

"You mean t'tell me she's mad at me for not knowin' what t'say?" Daryl's rough voice held and incredulous edge.

"No, no. I mean she's mad at you for not sayin' anything," Glenn clarified.

Daryl's shoulders dropped as he took in what Glenn had said, "She knows I ain't one for talkin'."

"We _all_ know your prowess in articulation is severely lacking my friend, but just tell her what you told me and it'll make her happy," Glenn pat his on the shoulder while he tried to explain, "When you've got a girl…when they do things just for you, you have to say _something."_

"_I know that_," Daryl snapped, "It's jus'…she looked nice. I never seen 'er with her hair down before."

Glenn couldn't stop the cheesy smile that found its way across his face.

"Shut up," Daryl grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Dude…you are _so_ far gone," Glenn laughed, scrambling out of the tower before Daryl could land a blow.

Having safely reached the bottom of the stairs, Glenn dusted his hands off with a satisfied grin. He knew Daryl would seek out Beth when his shift was over. He would spend the rest of his time on watch figuring out exactly what to say. He wouldn't apologize outright, because Daryl didn't make apologies, but he would fumble his way through something similar and by dinner time, Daryl and Beth would be sitting together eating dinner, as per the norm.

Daryl may have a long way to go, but Glenn had some experience in dating a Greene. He would be sure to help his hopeless friend along the way.

…

**A/N:** Next chapter will be a continuation in Daryl's POV. Hope you guys enjoyed these! They're much lighter paced and just fun to write!


	2. Making Up

**Disclaimer:** A nod to the genius Robert Kirkman for creating this wonderfully dark, post-apocalyptic world. I do not own or have rights to any of the characters/plot of this series. I'm simply a fan indulging in my post-apocalyptic fantasies.

Making Up (Cont. of When She's Mad)

He was pacing. He had been pacing since Glenn barreled out of the guard tower, narrowly escaping from being pummeled into the concrete. He wanted to be mad at his Korean comrade; however he knew that had Glenn not stuck his nose in their business, Daryl would still be pondering what he had done to upset Beth so severely.

"Hey man," Tyreese entered the door from the stairway, "I'm here to take over for you."

"'Preciate it," Daryl gave him a nod and moved to exit the building.

"Daryl?" Tyreese stopped him as he exited the doorway.

"Yeah?" Daryl acknowledged over his shoulder.

"Everything okay…I mean with you an' Beth?" Tyreese inquired cautiously.

"We're jus' peachy," Daryl grumbled and descended the stairs.

Chewing on the inside of his lip, he shouldn't have been surprised that others had taken notice of the tension between himself and the younger Greene girl. They were all confined behind the prison walls after all, but he couldn't help but wonder how obvious they're fight had been to everyone else?

…

Sitting in his cell, having had to use his own cot the past few nights, Daryl stared at the floor in front of his boots, lost in thought.

"You're gonna' burn a hole in the floor if you keep that up," an all too familiar voice drifted through his cell.

Glancing up, Daryl greeted Hershel with a slight nod.

"Now tell me, jus' when d'you plan on setting things right with my daughter. I, personally, am tired of whatchin' the two 'ah you sulk about," Hershel teased warmly as he hobbled into the room and took a seat next to Daryl.

"Women are so damn confusin'," Daryl admitted quietly.

"Son," Hershel placed a hand on his shoulder, "You're jus' at tha' tip of the iceberg."

"What'd she expect me t'say anyhow? She knows how I feel. She knows I ain't good with…sayin' stuff," Daryl gestured with his hands.

"I'm gonna' tell you a lil' story," Hershel began, removing his hand from Daryl's shoulder and clasping them around his intact leg, "Now you may find it hard t'believe, but I was once very much like you. I found it hard to express myself and explain things. Wasn't too good at givin' compliments. Then…I met Annette. She had a fiery spirit and whadn't afraid t'tell me exactly how she felt. Beth is a spittin' image of her mother with the personality t'match."

"How'd you manage t'stay on her good side?" Daryl was genuinely curious.

"You make enough mistakes an' you start learnin' from 'em," Hershel smiled with his eyes, "You've got to learn how t'express yourself, son. It won't happen overnight. It won't happen in 'ah week. With enough time, you'll figure out how t'say the things you mean, but you gotta' start somewhere."

Daryl didn't miss the subtle hint. Hershel was telling him the exact same thing Glenn had told him; go talk to Beth. Go and tell her what he had been thinking and why he hadn't been able to say it outright. The philosophy behind it was simple enough, but actually following through was the difficult part. Daryl didn't like expressing himself. It left him open to criticism. As long as he went along with what everyone else wanted, he didn't have to fear rejection. Now being one of the leaders in the prison, he found himself giving his opinions more freely. He respected everyone on the council. He respected Beth even more and she deserved his honesty no matter the circumstances.

Daryl felt Hershel pat his knee, breaking him of his thoughts with a knowing smile.

"She's in her cell, should you go lookin' for her. She'll be there for a while I reckon," the older man stood and began hobbling out of the room, knowing his point had been made.

Daryl scratched his head irritably.

"Everyone and their damn meddlin'," he huffed when Hershel was out of earshot.

Standing, he exited his room with the intention of taking a quick walk to clear his head before going to find Beth.

…

He stood in her doorway, quietly watching her as she wrote in her journal. Her blonde hair, tied up in its normal fashion, brushed over her shoulders with each movement she made. She looked peaceful and though he hated to disturb her, he knew he needed to clear the air between them. Frankly, he was tired of her ignoring him and while he would never admit it aloud, her absence had completely thrown him from his daily routine. She had become an integral part of his everyday life.

Clearing his throat, Beth's head snapped up. Her eyes briefly registered surprise before they narrowed and she went back to writing.

It was Daryl's turn to squint his eyes. He had come here to make amends and she had the gall to ignore him? That was _not_ going to work with him. Snatching up her notebook, ignoring her indignant cry as her pen marked a line down the page, Daryl tossed it on the small desk across from her bunk.

"What tha' hell is your problem?" Beth scrambled off her bed and stood toe-to-toe with him.

"My problem? Yer' tha' one ignorin' me," Daryl's voice an octave lower than normal.

"Because I'm pissed at you!" Beth threw her arms up in the air.

"Yer' tha' one who asked tha' stupid question," Daryl countered.

"Oh, so now my questions are stupid?" Beth's voice rose, "You're a real charmer. Very smooth."

"Damnit Beth," Daryl took a step away from her and rubbed his hand down his face, "S'not what I meant."

"Yeah, you've been doin' a _real_ good job tellin' me what's on yer' mind," Beth huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

The tense silence stretched between them before Daryl sighed and decided it was time he took Hershel…and Glenn's advice.

Rubbing the back of his neck, staring out into the hallway, he mumbled what he thought was a perfectly coherent sentence.

"What was that?" Beth's hostility immediately evident.

"I said ya' looked nice," Daryl practically yelled to ensure she heard him this time, "The other day. With yer' hair down. You looked real nice."

"Oh," Beth blinked at him several times.

"Yeah," Daryl bit at the inside of his cheek.

"Well…why didn't you jus' say so the other day?" Beth inquired softly.

"I'on know," he scratched the back of his head.

He felt himself beginning to squirm under her scrutiny before a smile shaped her lips and she closed the small gap between them. Her lips were soft, warm, and oh had he had missed them. Leaning into her, his hands dug into her sides, pulling her as close as possible. When she pulled back, he wouldn't call himself dazed, but the world had _definitely_ taken on a brighter hue.

"Are you hungry?" She whispered, her lips brushing across his with her every word.

He could only manage to nod mutely.

"C'mon," she smiled, tugging his wrist to follow her, "Carol and Karen should have supper ready by now."

Allowing her to pull him down the stairs, he felt a weight lifted off his chest knowing she was no longer angry with him. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, she turned and surprised him with another quick peck on the lips.

"Next time I make ya' speechless, give me a hint or somethin' so I know," she teased quietly.

"I whadn't speechless," he bristled at her smug statement.

"Mm hmm," she murmured turning to continue toward the dining room, "You're forgiven by the way. I know you're not tha' best at expressin' yourself, but you should have had at least said _soemthin_'."

"You an' Glenn," the comment had meant to be under his breath, but he hadn't been as inaudible as he intended.

"What about Glenn?" Beth rounded to face him with a look of displeasure.

_Shit_…

…

Daryl had tried to convey a look that expressed 'run for your life,' but Glenn hadn't paid him any mind and continued to follow blindly behind Maggie.

"So I see you two have made up," Glenn smiled, setting his plate on the table across from Daryl.

Daryl placed his elbows on the table and covered his face, sighing into his hands.

"Yup. Just 'ah lil' misunderstanding," Beth said sweetly.

Daryl cringed. He knew that tone. That was the tone she used just before she tore into him for something he had said or done that displeased her.

"That's great!" Glenn replied enthusiastically.

Daryl waited. He knew that at any moment she would drop the bomb and his friend had no idea it was coming.

"I'm gonna' grab us 'ah drink," Maggie said, politely excusing herself.

Daryl's hands dropped from his face as he glared at Maggie. She knew _exactly_ what was about to happen and she was going to abandon her boyfriend? He sneered as she threw a smirk his way while retreating from the table. Once Maggie was out of the equation, the atmosphere changed, and Daryl could feel the calm before the storm drastically coming to an end.

"So Glenn…" Beth began, "I heard you had 'ah hand in helpin' Daryl discover 'the error of his ways.'"

Daryl inwardly winced at Beth's choice of words as Glenn's eyes flicked between him and Beth.

"Dude, you _told_ her?" Glenn's face expressed disbelief, "What happened to the 'bro-code?'"

He knew Beth would go easy on Glenn, because if not for his meddling they could very well still be fighting, but he'd be _damned_ if he let her know Hershel had visited him too.

"Necessary sacrifice," Daryl mumbled while digging into his food.

Beth seemed to be content with just letting Glenn know that _she _knew of his involvement and Daryl ignored the wounded glances cast his way from across the table. He had thrown Glenn under the bus because he would have much rather avoided dealing with an older, angry Greene. The girl's temper may have come from their mothers, as Hershel had stated, but he remembered the older man's temper while they were on the farm.

He would save Glenn from a walker, or something of the sort, and consider them even. Glenn may have had more experience relationship wise, but Daryl knew how to survive. He would be sure to help his hopeless friend along the way.

...

**A/N: **Yay for a Hershel moment! He may be gone from the show, but at least we're able to include him in our fanfics! I've watched several interviews where Hershel said he would condone a relationship between Daryl and Beth so I loved being able to have Hershel give Daryl "relationship advice."

Other snippets will not be interrelated as these two have, unless otherwise stated! Hope you enjoyed!


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